He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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