My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
