note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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