Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
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