I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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