i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
