today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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