I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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