Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
