please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
