Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
The beer is more important than you right now.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
