dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
