Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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