I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
