I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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