Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
