I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
