What a fucking waste of an outfit
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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