how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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