did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
We're too hungover to prance.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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