Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize