How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
