What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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