I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
