yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I think my nap took me to another dimension
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
