Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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