apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
