I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
