I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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