I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
