I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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