Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
