god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
