I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
you never un-have a 4some
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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