thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
dude i'm inner monologue high
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
