I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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