was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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