i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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