i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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