we have officially lost it.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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