can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
