I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
