I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We left an ass print on the piano.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
