The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
