some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
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