Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
