Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
