i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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