Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
