Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
