my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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