Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
All the doctor said was why
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
