I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
