I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
