He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
