Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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