I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
