I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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